this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
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[–] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

Ah, my local antivax prophet had me dying by May 22, 2021. I of course doubled down and have all of my Covid vaccines. Still waiting.

[–] MrVilliam@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Anybody know where I can find whatever form or portal it is that gets me my Soros bucks? I've been spreading all these lies about "science" for years and I still haven't seen a dime.

Also, card-carrying socialists and/or communists: which one is it and where do I get my card from? Biden isn't returning my calls. Maybe it was through my local police? Damn, shouldn't have defunded all those police departments so quickly!

/s

[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't believe in COVID, but I got the vaccine for the infertility because it was easier than a vasectomy. And now my wife is pregnant 😡😡😡

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago

Pat Mustard strikes again.

[–] henfredemars 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I’ve been getting a little bit better Internet speeds lately.

I have constant 5G now where I live. COVID vanished/became endemic before though.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 year ago

Where's my free 5G???

[–] comrade19@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If bill gates commands order 66, something within my blood compels me to join

[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago

Good soldiers follow orders.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I feel cheated, what was even the point of taking them if they weren't going to kill me?!

But my cell service is so good now

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Maybe we're undead. I feel slightly undead. (Probably because I didn't get enough sleep, but who knows.)

[–] joshcodes@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

I recently bought a new wifi part with WiFi 6e capabilities, so my pc sits on a 6ghz bandwidth while all my other devices sit on 2.4 or 5ghz, so my internet speeds are great across all my devices.

Point being I have never felt it more urgent to donate to the Bill + Malinda Gates foundation and I think you should to! /s