But doctor, I am a bear 
this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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If me and Diogenes run into a bear, he can throw the chicken at it and we can both calmly escape.
If it's just me, then I gotta try and look bigger than the bear, perhaps with the folk-dance, the Hokey Pokey
If i throw a bowl at a bear, it would maul me. If i threw a bowl at Diogenes, i would get a lecture, and then he would throw the bowl back at me.
I would just not be lost in the woods. I guess I'm just built different.
A plucked chicken is probably pissed about being plucked, so my answer depends on how firm Diogenes' grip is on the chicken.
What if the Blair Witch lives in the woods?
Give her a project to do
is diogenes the man? or the chicken?
Yes
They look exactly the same! Which one do I shoot?! 
I feel like Diogenes would try to fight the bear with the chicken