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WEBRINGS:
Happy Early May Day!
depersonalization talk
Sometimes I feel like my body is a mech suit I'm piloting around. Or like I'm a little farther back in my head then I should be (I have no idea if that makes sense). It feels a little like when I had esketamine (not at its peak, more the beginning and end). I was actually concerned for a while the esketamine broke something in my brain.
Is that kinda what trans depersonalization is like? Do any of you feel the same way?
Oh yeah. That is definitely something that I've experienced in the past. Same goes for both of my partners. It's not a fun feeling. I'm not certain there's really a way to work around it aside from continuing to push forward with what you're doing for yourself. Keep strong and carry on.
I'll try 
its so hard to understand. I don't even know where forward is. Thank you.
That is all. Hope you all are having a great Friday doomposting
Learning that the only thing stopping my transition is the ruination of my marriage :( Realizing how easy it would have been if I were ten years younger and could have accepted myself then suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
sorry for blogging and clogging your mega (very slightly nsfw)
Shaving today was weird, I can tell I have changed considerably because while it's nice to have the pubes gone, (mostly because they are way too thick and curly) everything else I could seriously take or leave. Shaving my legs? Eh, I guess it's nice they're smooth? But the fluff is cool too actually, Idk. Will I ever even shave again? It doesn't give me gender euphoria, because I don't consider my body hair to be "masc" or anything like that. I think the "stop shaving, burn your bras" feminists in the 70s were on to something, honestly.
I've been slacking really badly on shaving/nair-ing/etc all my body hair. Part of me wants to cause it's been a while, and part of me doesn't wanna participate in the "it's summer, better shave your legs" shit. Even though it would be nice, I guess.
But also like, maybe I should just bike and walk around totally unshaven this year? Make people fuckin deal with it? Give them shitty looks if I catch em observing?????
girls are on their way to becoming girlchampions, girlwinners, girlthrivers, girlthings are starting off slow but they are still girlmoving.
how much Estrogen am I supposed to be on? I got a prescription for .4mg/week but something about that feels... unusually low
.4mg a week indeed sounds very low. Are you sure it's not .4ml * concentration?
I think the norm is to start with a low dose for the first 3 months (especially for spiro due to side effects) and then measure levels to determine what's safe and needed to get to reach target levels. But 0.4mg/week seems really low based on cursory searching. Are you sure that isn't 0.4 mL?
reading all the "man vs bear" responses and discourse on hexbear has been really eye opening for me yet also very strange considering that a. I really don't seem to grasp how women feel when answering this question yet also b. keep taking the E shots and growing out my hair and I will understand one of these days
going to be on HRT just a little longer tomorrow :)
kinda nsfw
pissing like a fountain
salty food extra tasty
libido lowered slightly
dysphoria lowered slightly, feel less masculine
balls faintly sore
well the E is probably going to take a while longer to kick in but the spiro is clearly working
Fuck spiro, lol. Glad I don't have to pee like I have a chestnut for a bladder.
But seriously, if it's already kicking in for you, that's pretty cool. It took a long fucking time for it to suppress my testosterone. It took until my one year bloodwork for it to finally be fully suppressed. I think I spoke about it before, but, while I never had baseline taken, I'm pretty certain that my baseline testosterone in my fucking 30s was 900+. It took a lot to get it down.
Does anyone else wish that they were straight? I feel great guilt over any attraction to women that I feel, but I don't really like men
I go through periods of huge amounts of shame over who I am and just the other day I ended up taking all the pride stickers and buttons off of everything I have, I wish I could get over that, and I can for a time, but it always comes back around
I'm back in my small rural home town (small is underselling, it's got close to 100K people). I bought my gf plane tickets to come stay with me for June pride, she's still recovering from bottom surgery, but I think we both wanna do pride stuff... it'd be my first pride events ever. I socially transitioned like 3 years ago but yknow covid and everything. I'm nervous cause my town is definitely low grade transphobic but isn't it more important to do it here than where it's a corporate family event?
I've never been to a pride event in my ten damn years of being out, kinda jealous tbh. I have ones here but I just haven't Idk...