this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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asking for a buddy

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought it wasn't but I have never heard it used for anyone but dudes.

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Same, one of those not actually gendered but gendered in practice words.

[–] OrlandoDeCabron@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would say it is gender neutral to male coded, diminutive in nature.

You call a child "buddy." It is male coded, but because it refers to children it becomes more androgynous in nature.

I've been in social contexts where in the local dialect it was gender neutral and status neutral, but in other contexts it is not so much male coded as it was to belittle.

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honestly, I hate when people use the word buddy—whether it's directed at me or not. It's such a pejorative to me.

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’ve been complaining on here about similar things recently. Unless a dear friend is calling me that I’m taking it as a jab.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum....

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Even then. One of my best friends says buddy and bud to me and pretty much everyone—his other friends, bartenders, servers, anyone—but I still can't stand it. I just don't say anything because I know he means well but, damn, I find it so annoying. Who knows where he picked that shit up.

I don't know how anyone wouldn't interpret it as an insult, like "boy".

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 year ago

I'd be more concerned about inflection cuz "buddy" can either be the most affectionate OR the most aggressive thing to call someone lol

[–] autism_2@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Buddy is puppygender

[–] SoylentSnake@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

goddammit if ya'll take buddy or homie away from me for the times on chapo dot chat where i want to broadly express gender neutral affection but "comrade" feels too formal/cringe/performative so help me god.....

[–] Septimaeus 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Most of the fem-coded equivalents (sis, girlfriend, galpal, etc) are a bit too gum-smack anyway. Let’s feminize buddy.

[–] Septimaeus 7 points 1 year ago

(Buddy backs away slowly…)

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have heard buddy (or more often bud) used for women frequently. Gender neutral. I call all my friends bud.

[–] someone@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It was my grandfather's affectionate nickname for my grandmother, and she loved it.

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Plz tell me she called hin sport or something like that.

[–] Sons_of_Ferrix@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How gendered is the word "fuckface"?

fuckface is only a permissible pronoun for bottoms

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

I'm Canadian so I'm allowed to say it

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

It's Canadian gendered

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

It’s neutral, but I only hear it being used towards guys. Might be different if your from the Midwest. When I hear girls saying it it’s usually towards a pet or child lol

[–] Stoneykins@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I really feel like "Man", "Buddy", "Guy", "Fellow", "Fella", "Dude", "Bro", and more all have varying amounts of masculinity behind them ranging from lots to almost none at all and I feel an impulse to try and rank them...

[–] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Stoneykins@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Gut feeling says "Dawg" is less masculine than "Dude" but more masculine than "Buddy".

But I have no idea why, and I'm certain this would be ordered differently for everyone, so what do you think?

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like “Dude” is the most neutral at this point, but it’s just my experience.

[–] Wiz@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago

It doesn't sound very neutral if you say, "I like to fuck dudes."

But no judgment if you do.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

All things my partner and I call each other… and our cats.

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago
[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

The buddy system does not discriminate on gender.