this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Fun fact both chuds arent european

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[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 88 points 1 year ago (6 children)
[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

These dipshits thinking they're trad caths while shit talking the pope will never not be funny to me.

It's like if somebody based their entire personality on the movie fight club and went around saying "the first rule of fight club is you have to tell everybody you know about fight club"

Why try to pigeonhole yourself into an external personality if you dont agree with one of the core tenants.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago (5 children)

There is literally only one good point in those pictures, and it is that neanderthals get a bad rap. Not that neanderthals were all muscular and long-lived (they weren't), just that they get a bad rap. Neanderthals are cool.

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[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 71 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, you should have a large cock, actually, and a high IQ. It can be done.

It can be done, yes, but I don't think this "Eurasian Emperor" fellow would like what that looks like in practice...

A man labeled "Society" berating an anime catgirl in a maid outfit labeled "me who never asked to have a cock this big"

※IQ is racist pseudoscience and the concept of intelligence in general is deeply misleading

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Large cocks are also psuedoscience as it presumes a galactic standard cock size and no such cock size has ever been empirically established.

That said, much sympathy for large cock comrades as it can be a serious hassle and cause problems of varying kinds and folks should know about that and not objectify people about it.

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[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 64 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Having a tiny dick is European culture" is the most straightforward self own I have ever read

[–] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

bodyshaming? on hexbear?

it's more common than you'd think.

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They're the one that said it take it up with them.

[–] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

explain how it's a self-own without engaging in that yourself

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because the self-own isn’t in having a small penis. The self-own is in making it blatantly obvious they’ve got a hangup on their penis size (which might not even be that small; a lot of men with size anxiety are of average or even above average size), and they’ve turned that hangup into a reactionary, backwards politics. They’re telling on themselves that they think restoring a white aristocracy will make them feel better about their manhood.

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[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Because they clearly think its a big deal or else they wouldn't make it part of their identity.

For the same reason it's funny when you get to the point of incel logic where they say that having sex with women is super gay.

Because they've clearly built a complicated narrative for why they aren't the the thing they hate even though it was only their own narrative that made that a bad thing.

Because they're trying to bodybshame people with normal sized penis' as removed.

Because they earnestly said "penis size and virtue are inversely proportional"

This is really approaching intentional ignorance levels of creduialism.

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 62 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I would like to once again remind everyone that, to the best of my knowledge, 95% of all human penises on earth fall between 4-6in in length, while 95% of vaginas are between 4-6in in depth, and this is all very silly.

[–] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago

WE ARE THE 95%!!!!

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[–] Goadstool@hexbear.net 58 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

inventing myths about shit and then getting mad about it sums up all of chuddery

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 55 points 1 year ago

de-endurance — Large penis worship is just another form of slave worship. Virtue and penis size are inversely proportional. Shaming men for having small penises is anti-European and anti-aristocratic. Enjoy your free lunch while it lasts, slaves. Your time in the sun is coming to an end.

de-electrochemistry [Easy: Success] — No, you should have a large cock, actually, and a high IQ.

de-encyclopedia [Trivial: Success] — It can be done.

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

IQ is stored in the balls, actually

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 51 points 1 year ago

God turning up the penis slider to maximum, shrugging his shoulders as the virtue slider plummets

Eh, he says, It's a dump stat

[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

morshupls beta leftists trying to explain that penis size is random and therefore not worth shaming or being shamed over

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

※Except when the shaming is consensual

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

*Also consensual compliments that are total lies. “Biggest one I’ve ever seen” etc.

Common men’s kink tbh.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Me, an immortal vampire slut with a medically undocumented form of "lucid" Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, dating exclusively nullos, then once the nullo supply has been fully exhausted, switching to pre-T trans men, then post-T trans men and cis men with micropenes, then men with penes within standard deviation, then finally men with penes above the standard deviation, going roughly in order of smallest to biggest but using my powers of volitional macropsia when necessary, all so that I can tell every guy I'm with that his is the "biggest one I've ever seen" without ever needing to lie because lying is bad. This project has taken roughly 131 years thus far but I have made a lot of guys very happy. It's not much but it's honest work

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

free lunch

Slaves

Smartest chud who definitely knows what words mean

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Heterosexual chud discourse: being overly concerned with the size of your fellow man's penis.

Also, was it in Rome or ancient Greece that having a fat cock was considered vulgar, and so all the statues have lil guys, or is that a myth thinking-about-it

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago

Some of it is survivability bias. Monster dongs are more likely to break off of the statue.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it was Greece and I'm like 98% sure that the penises were all of a normal size, like the modal size for penises, and people just have no idea how big penises are any more because dick wiggling has fallen out of favor as a form of cultural celebration.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

Retvrn, but to dick wiggling instead of tradition gigachad

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've only heard it about Greece

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[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago

There's alot to unpack here and it isn't a massive cock unfortunately.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago

my man out here telling us he's got that hapsburg schween

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dumb and micropenis havers ppb-gigachad

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[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago

Something something politics and sexual pathology

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is everyone on Twitter having penis discourse right now? I also saw people getting mad about trans women seeing themselves in Hermaphroditus lmao.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Is humanity ever not having penis discourse? In the most remote places, in the most ancient caves, one will find drawings of cocks!

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So true. Matriarchy now! We need a more even split on genital discourse.

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Vaginas should be easier to draw.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They're easy enough if we judge them with the same standards that we judge crudely drawn penises with.

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[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Is humanity ever not having penis discourse?

There's a joke about Freudian psychoanalysis here, but I don't know enough about Freud's theories to make one.

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[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago

Eurasian

The swarthy mongrel of Bulgar and Tatar extraction dares to pine on matters of Evropa and her poorly endowed children.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's sometimes refreshing when useless online discourse becomes a literal dick measuring contest.

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[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I love not having to deal with penis discourse anymore. It’s just so silly.

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[–] Angel@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The fact that these chuds think they're cool because of their corny aesthetic and absurd "trad" discourse is something I'd find funny if it just weren't so sad.

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[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Who needs virtue when you got a huge hog?

The eternal conundrum of the human species.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

I have a huge hog. His name is Captain Snortles and his oinks are food for the soul

bit idea: just have a penis of a certain size and call intelligence too broad and abstract to precisely measure and live your silly little life

[–] Chapo_is_Red@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fun fact both chuds arent european

Are you saying that Greeks are Water Turks are something?

[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hot take; Greek people are to all intents and purposes Middle Eastern, but have been co-opted into European-ness by white supremacists and other europhiles so that they can claim Ancient Greek culture as their own.

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[–] ChairmanSpongebob@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

"the hellenist" "Eurasian Emperor" "Bar-bar-big-dick" "fuck-off-dumbest-people-alive"

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