this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

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this is going viral online for being unhinged, although it has its fans. the author's parents are rich gusano pro lifers, and her mom was appointed to the state board of education by desantis

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[–] wtypstanaccount04@hexbear.net 73 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

dear god this is terrible writing and gross as well

[–] combat_brandonism@hexbear.net 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

plausible deniability when it came to purity

the fuck is this supposed to mean anyway? the she's into anal?

[–] Emanuel@lemmy.eco.br 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I read that as she saying she was young enough to plausibly claim to be a virgin

[–] combat_brandonism@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago

god female purity cult people are so fucking weird

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"My exoskeleton has a lustrous iridescence, my pheromones are heady, and my brooding sac is engorged. My stores of fungus will last the hive through the winter, and I need to capture an experienced male to ensure the colony is strong"

[–] Krem@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] CharlieTheOctopus@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Right? Let me hear some more about that lustrous iridescence crush

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

I'm glad I came in here before reading it cause this sentence alone makes me want to expel my lunch.

[–] Bloobish@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

I know tradwives are real and gross in their own way, but God damn it really just feels like this was written by the most misogynist chatgpt excerpt in some dudes weird fetish cave.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

a little sad, a little sick, and utterly banal. if i could get just one thing shy of revolution god can it be for conservatives to drop this notion of trying to play subversive when they're acting/promoting the most prototypical, ancient fucking concepts. wow you have a notion of womanhood of a victorian countess, how rebellious

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 55 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

this faux-revolutionary aesthetic in their rhetoric is actually a tactic to coopt the people who noticed we need big sweeping change but havent figured out the whys yet.

all so they can keep the world unchanged, but somehow different. i don't think they are dropping it, its pretty effective.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This seems to be a thing that's getting pushed at the moment, I don't quite get it but I've seen a couple of articles on young women marrying out of the workforce. Trying to drive birth rates among a certain class maybe, musk style eugenicists

[–] disposable_cracker@hexbear.net 49 points 1 year ago

Best comment:

This is a deeply silly essay. But I gotta comment on this statement. "I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing."

Hahahaha. While you are dreaming of it in your leisurely marriage to wealthy not-old man, my female colleagues and I are making it happen. (You're welcome.) Tonight we'll meet up for happy hour, drinking wine we learned about on trips we happily planned and paid for ourselves, giggling over those girls we saw hanging around our business school library who imagined that the single men we went to school with were prizes worthy of trading our wonderful, formative, adventurous 20s for. Cheers.

P.S. Your husbands are trying to have affairs with us.

[–] Tommasi@hexbear.net 49 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I had to give up halfway through this because of how painfully bad the writing is. The most shocking part of the text is that whoever wrote this claims to have an English degree.

[–] combat_brandonism@hexbear.net 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like the trainwreck of the opening sentence just captures the vibe

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery.

Beyond how God awful the structure and pacing are, what is this content? It takes her like a hundred words and almost as many commas to say 'I won the lottery when I met my partner'.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

Good writing - is when punctuation; the more punctuation, the gooder writing it is.

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)

a bunch of people on Tictok are praising the prose, and saying that shes wrong but is a great writer. i felt like I was losing it and had to post here.

[–] combat_brandonism@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago

lmao those people have shit taste

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

a bunch of people on Tictok are praising the prose, and saying that shes wrong but is a great writer.

Are they 13 years old or something? It's written worse than verbose reddit comments, and that's saying something

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

some of them were indeed adults, you cant tell from most accounts though.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Begging these people to read an actual book by a good author. Even books written for kids and teenagers are 100x better than this article.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

You made it halfway congrats. I got like 6 sentences

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

https://www.graziechristie.com/

they've got a whole series of pointless, misogynistic articles, and are even the editor of a magazine (I presume the started it)

grazie, you're a piece of shit

[–] RION@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago

"Why does every woman not simply go to Harvard and comb parties for a rich foreign exchange student?"

[–] flan@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

this is hard to read and keep up with but she wanted to marry her dad is what i get out of this.

[–] Emanuel@lemmy.eco.br 31 points 1 year ago

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend.

This part did it for me.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago

i look forward to the follow up in 10 years: he found someone younger to have a baby with and now i--a fiscally illiterate 35 year old with pride in having cultivated a millionaire's tastes--live with my parents like some shit out of a Jane Austen novel.

i get the bit about not wanting to "train" some guy her age about how to wipe his ass or pick up his towels, but its hilarious that her solution is to just be the totally-not-resentful caged bird who, and i quote:

There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and** that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him**.

je. sus. christ.

anyway, i've never been one to find much sustainable attraction in romance with someone who isn't a peer. i can't imagine the resentment of being near 40 and being treated like a aesthetically pleasing accessory rather than someone with whom i keep counsel about the important things that weigh on me. the psychosocial developmental distance between her and her "crazy" friends who have partners and careers and are all figuring out how to balance their compromises, careers, family, and personal integrity is going to be the grand canyon. she is 100% going to be the one they all roll their eyes about.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Right-wingers yearn to be the dog of someone stronger than them.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

I support it as a kink but not as a societal structure y'know?

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mean the vast majority of women around the world date and then marry a man a couple of years older than them for many of the same reasons stated in the article. It's just that most people don't take it to the extreme of a 10 year age gap when you're 20, and getting married at 23, like the author of this terribly written article did. For the vast majority of people, it's usually a 2-3 year age gap with the husband being the older partner, and getting married in the mid 20s or early 30s.

So what is the point of this article? That taking patriarchal norms to their extremes is somehow good? If that were true, most women and men would be doing that, but evidently they are not. I legitimately do not understand why any woman would argue that exacerbating patriarchal relationship norms is a good thing.

[–] Rx_Hawk@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well

Okay that got a chuckle out of me

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

i feel so fucking bad for straight women

if i were in their situation i think i'd consider it a blessing to die alone

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Pee pee poo poo 💩💩 :butt-trumpet:, an essay, by farthead

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Papistry and its consequences

[–] Finger@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

no more half measures walter

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Ok now someone write “the case for marrying your father” with the same article just replacing father into the sentences instead of older man. Then send it to her.

[–] odmroz@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

great way to have limited freedom over your future, your person, your reproductive capacity, your travel, etc. etc. etc. for the rest of your sad life

[–] HonestMistake_@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

The top comment on the article perfectly sums it up, I'd say...

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago