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the irish new world order did it 
It's those dang communists! 
CIA made it look like ìSingapore did it deliberately but made it seem like an accident for the whole banning tiktok thing,
Palestinian sympathizer took the Houtus message to hesrt and 
America's 9th largest port.
The power outage on the ship was caused by Stuxnet remnants
China did it.
Some billy goats and a troll got into a fight
Did anyone say lazers yet? I choose lazers did it.
I didn't see anybody use lasers. You are the first.
they were UV lasers so you couldnt see them
putin wanted to attack the baltics but he's old and his eyesight is not so good, so he got baltimore instead...
Apperently some guy who goes by the name “DEI” did it?
DEI vult
cover for testing a new wonder weapon that makes steel all floppy
Jews? 
Just hand it to Tim Pool or Tucker Carlson and they'll know what to do.
This is clearly the work Chinese gene-splicing scientists and their terrorist test subject that gained the power to manipulate magnetism
It was a terror cell funded, armed, and trained by the CCP.
He was just trying to dock the boat, but missed
Key Bridge, Ballmer's pride,
CIA plot, a wild ride,
Collapse, hon, they lied.
The bridge was intentionally brought down to distract people from the arrest of Diddy.
Biden wants to destroy Buttigieg’s chance at presidency. Saw that coming since the Norfolk Southern railway incident.
Elon Musk was testing his new driverless ship technology
American pickups finally got too heavy
Go woke, go broke
Cthulhu
Stavros tried to drive over the bridge
Jeremy let the password to the server get out and a griefer came in and filled it with TNT, then redstoned it to a pressure plate in the water.
Confirmed because they left a note in the chest where I keep all my diamonds after they took them all
Shockwave did it using cosmic rust
Inspired by the tankies on the ml instance:
"The CIA caused the ship to lose power and hit the bridge. They had purposely weakened the bridge ahead of time. All this was done to stop a whistleblower from driving the evidence to safety that shows that Biden not only is 100% in favor of and supplying EVERYTHING to genocide the Palestinians but that he actually paid to put messages on bombs the IDF dropped on hospitals. BIDEN IZ WURSE THAN TRUMP!! DONT VOAT BLEW! BOTH SIDES BAAAD.
Mom...is my DoorDash here yet? Oh crap, my speech to text is still on. Siri, turn off speech"
i am literally a member of a trotskyist party rn and "tankie" is still a Manchurian Agent "kill this man" trigger word for me
good username but you should probably develop your political views beyond Balzac's
