this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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Michigan

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Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam in braccas mea vide

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Seagulls are protected under the "Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918". This means that it is illegal to capture, kill, or keep a seagull in your home (unless you have a special permit).

So, no: you cannot go into the Meijer parking lot, yoink a seagull from the flock, and take it home.

This PSA has been brought to you by an argument with my son during a grocery pick-up.

Thank you.

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[–] WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago (7 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Almost happened to me once, but then I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day.

It's not so bad, really. From up here, Aurora borealis comes in view

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I understand that this is upsetting, as I know many Michigan residents who have lost loved ones in the Seagull Wars.

However, seagull deterrents are legal, as long as it does not directly harm the birds themselves.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with. They'd be more likely to run so far away with you.

[–] BleakBluets@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with.

Perhaps too heavy for Herring Gulls, but they could be carried by Great Black-Backed Gulls.

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

Perhaps if they were to put you on a line between them

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I really feel there’s a coconut joke in here somewhere

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not entirely true. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move.

[–] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Unless the seagulls pick you up in a giant ass peach with the intention of freeing you from an abusive parent.

[–] llamapants@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

However, if A Flock of Seagulls picked you up and took off with you, there WOULD be legal consequences.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 5 points 1 year ago

This is their land, we just moved here

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What if they poke you in the coconut?

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

That counts as consent.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

then the coconut has a pretty good case and should call a lawyer

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, I'd like to see anyone stop me, cuz my living room full of seagulls begs to differ.

When the feds come to your door, they're gonna hear all those seagulls.

[–] dingus182@endlesstalk.org 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This entire post has been a wonderful read. Thank you all, for the good work you do.

You're welcome. Happy to contribute useful knowledge to the community. 👍

[–] cobra89@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

There's nothing protecting pigeons though right? What about Canadian geese?

[–] survivalmachine@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

What about Canadian geese?

Regular geese with Canadian citizenship enjoy no special protections. Canada geese are protected, though if you've ever encountered one, you'd know that the protection is more for you than them.

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago

If you manage to wrestle Canadian geese into submission you might as well get to keep it.

[–] archomrade@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago

You don't mess with Canada Gooses. Those are Canada's fuckin' gooses.

Messing with Canada Geese is illegal.

Taking pigeons is apparently fine, as long as they do not belong to anyone else.

[–] anachronist@midwest.social 4 points 1 year ago

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

[–] Bo7a@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

This law brought to you by the seagullmen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lNqicJOvR8

They can absolutely kidnap you though