this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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You need to consider that first, the Lemmy Theme has to want to change. It is a common error to have too many expectations out the gate in this kind of situation. Probably the Lemmy Theme is this way for a reason, and has been this way for years -- even before you've met, and what you are experiencing is not some sort of deterioration, it is just the Lemmy Theme's actual personality coming out now. Positive change can happen, but it can be incremental, and at times even reach a frustrating plateau, as you have described. In fact, this:
Describes a common pattern called the 'cycle of abuse', where following a crisis an abuser is forced to stand face to face with the concrete consequences of their actions, and resolves to change their ways; but as time passes, the visceral memory of the incident fades, the abuser returns to their old ways, and their frustrations are bottled up inside until they erupt in another incident. This is not to say that you and the Lemmy Theme must part ways or that your relationship cannot work, but at the very least, you should direct its attention to this repeating pattern that you are both caught up in. Above all do not hesitate to seek help and lean on your support network (family, close friends, etc) to look out for you and provide perspective.