Melbourne

Warning: anxiety frustration rant.

Well, eldest was supposed to go to school today but had so much anxiety overnight he hardly slept. I got up a few times overnight and he was awake almost every time, laying there worrying, trying to cope. He told me he feels like his world is all crumbling apart. We've moved him back to weekly sessions to try to help him cope. I feel so frustrated for him. Miniest was woken frequently during the night by all this and is exhausted this morning so staying at home too. I'm on the bus going to work and I feel kind of flat inside. When I was a kid my homelife was so shit that being bullied at school was an escape lol. I learnt to dissociate from a really young age. Nothing seems to be consistently working at the moment, and I feel like that mum in The Babadook.

Edit: Mr P got up , had a smoke and went back to bed after learning that he didn't really have to take anyone anywhere or do anything, and I'm jealous of him. When I wasn't working I had time to support everyone and the kids had no problems. I know it's not my fault, having to go out and earn the family income, but it makes me feel hollow somehow and I feel like it is.