this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse
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i fucking hate kink at pride discourse
im sex repulsed and kink doesn't trigger it at all, but you know what does? like every fucking pop song with explicit mentions to straight sex. or action movies randomly shoving a hyper male-gazey sex scene in. why the fuck is a leather harness considered too taboo but those are totally normally
real
its the constant, casual allosexuality and alloromanticism creeping into every crevice of human life that rly fucks with me
the constant reminders of 'your friends will never consider you important as someone they're smashing privates (or hoping to) with', 'society won't consider you an adult until you get a partner', and 'some [a lot
] of people are nice just for sex' stuff that gets to me
and how all this means that basically every media has romance and sex--if it doesn't the fans will turn every platonic interaction into a sexualromantic thing because "people just don't [hug/cuddle/be a decent human being] unless they want sex or romance"
And even if there is sex or romance, fans will turn all the platonic relationships sexual anyway because "they have better chemistry" or "it's obvious Sam really wants to sex/romance Frodo; there's no other reason he'd go so far for him"
just,
I mean, this sounds like you need more ace friends, but also people will have different priorities based on shared interests anyways, it’s just reaaaaallly obvious with sex because allonormativity inflates how often people talk about it and how important people see it as. Like if you have a friend you play Catan with every night you’re going to grow more attached to them than other friends, it seems relatively normal to me, though that doesn’t excuse allonormativity treating sex as more important than things like Catan.
Alternatively if this is coming from a place of allo people straight-up abandoning you in times of need (in favor of something trivial with their partners) than those sound like very shitty friends.
Sorry if this is invalidating, idk how to phrase my feelings or put together my thoughts in a encompassing way here. I want it to be comforting but as an allo person I’m also being kind-of defensive here and honestly I’m worried about that being a toxic behavior from me, I can delete this if it’s offensive/invalidating/unhelpful.
No worries comrade.
Your Catan comparison is spot on tbh. I'd only add that that allonormativity also says "it is more important to play catan with someone you are sexing with than a regular friend"
I think that’s somewhat allonormativity, but also a big chunk of people who have intertwined sex/romance drives, so that specifically is kind of a clusterfuck