chat

not the person you replied to but: This hypothetical isn't as useful as you think it is. There are of people of any ethnicity who have a good sense of humor and cook good food. If you are only attracted to asians then you value that equal to or above everything else. Instead of connecting with the person they are that person is connecting with the fact that they are asian.

Something I believe very strongly is that our ideas of beauty and attraction follow our values. People who are only into Asians have reasons for that. For some people it is that they are of the same culture as them. For others it is because they see Asians as demure, submissive, and dutiful, or non-threatening. People don't "just like Asians" in a vacuum. There are always other reasons supporting that worldview. Nobody is going to constrict their dating pool without good reason.

Race in particular is a sensitive subject. There is danger in someone fetishizing race. Its a highly socially constructed category. When someone is exclusively attracted to Asians it probably means they are projecting racist stereotypes onto them.

Another point of evidence is the experience of fetishized people. In the trans community we call them chasers. Generally speaking, when a trans person dates a chaser, it doesn't go well. When a trans person hooks up with one the sex isn't as good. People who are hyperfocused on peoples bodies and social category/standing generally don't really fuck, and generally aren't very cool. Its best to avoid them.

When you don't allow yourself to connect with people based on themselves your connections will be shallow and stunted. This can create a downward spiral where you forget what its like to connect with people outside of your fetishes. This can fuel things like porn addiction and rape culture.