this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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So I might've fucked up last night. There's a reoccurring theme of me just making the dumbest freaking mistakes these last couple of weeks, i dunno whats wrong with me. I'll throw in a NSFW and spoiler for the mistake part. Heads up dont read this one at work.
So the mrs and I had a bit of a heart to heart last night, kiddo went down early enough that we weren't both too stuffed to talk. i had a bit of a breakdown, said some tough stuff that was hard to say she gave me a big hug, after a few minute I told her we had to stop cause I knew what was gonna happen (not that I didn't want to, just didn't wanna cheapen the moment with the pants off dance, ya know). Anyway, this next part is super graphic. I'll tidy up the language as much as possible but feel free to skip.
NSFW spoiler here
She says she doesn't mind. So we go to bed. I.... uhhh, "suit up for the occasion" as is required at the moment. We get going, and I express my dissatisfaction with the "armour" I was "wearing" . She says I dont have to if I dont want to. I say "are you sure? isnt there a risk?" She says "I'm not worried". so knowing full well it was a mistake, but not having the blood to operate my brain properly... I take it off.And this is where I cant help but feel a bit... baited? I dunno. Let me clear it takes 2 to tango, I'm the one that took "it" off. Its 100% on me. But she did EVERY trick in the book to make sure I "arrived". It felt like it was a competition to make sure the finale happened. Ultimately, I... uhhh, "deployed the troops elsewhere", at least 99% sure I did in time. Given we needed IVF the first time I'm not SUPER worried. It was great to reconnect, been a while since that happened, but its left me with more questions that answers.
Was she actually trying to make sure i "deployed the expeditionary forces in the target country"? Why now? Why do we suddenly not care now? Was I getting used? Or was she trying to reconnect like i was? Why the F did I take the risk? Am I really not that smart? or just super into potentially self sabotaging? Is this all actually a big deal? or is my anxiety just taking me for a fucking ride?
EDIT: Maybe this would have been more appropriate on a Relationship advice sub, apologies.
Oh hon. That was totally not ok. I can’t see any way it wasn’t intentionally manipulative. Why you took the bait is a question, but why she posed the trap is bigger.
You reckon? I’m not sure if that is the case or if I’m just over thinking it.
Um yeah. Feels totally manipulative to me. For massively oversharing context: I’ll set traps but after long discussions about boundaries first. It’s a BDSM thing. Consent REALLY matters if you’re fucking with somebodies brain patterns.
I mean, if we’re over sharing I’ll be more specific with the concern:
nsfw
it’s not like she leg locked and said “cum in me”. It was more just… well there’s no polite way to say it: all the stuff she knows I love, which would yeah also make things finish faster than not.
Question is she doing that cause it’s been a while and we’re reconnecting? Or is she doing cause she’s trying to make it harder to resist finishing inside?
Impossible to say, and certainly not a question I can find a good way to ask.
Like I said in today’s DT: the plan I came up with was the best I could figure, and she had no objection to a condom since so I assume she’s NOT trying to get pregnant.