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[Short Rant] I'm deeply uncomfortable when people take pride and comfort in being fetishized. (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by Angel@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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[CW: Fetishization on the Basis of Identity (Race, Transness, Etc.)]

I'm mainly talking about this in the context of race, but it applies to other categories such as trans people as well. My main issue with this is that this type of openness to accepting fetishization on the basis of identity enables toxic tendencies.

What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god. And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope (which is just racist), and these black men who don't realize the problem with this will eat it up.

This isn't pleasant; it's just dehumanizing. This isn't just a problem for straight people either. Gay men, for instance, can have this toxic shit going on too. I understand that, especially when you're a part of a marginalized group, it can seem tempting to celebrate what seems to translate to you being a desirable person, even if it's on the basis of a creepy fetish, but that will ultimately do more harm than good.

I just hope these people come to realize that they're not taken as being a desirable "person" in these circumstances, but rather, a desirable object. These fetishists do not care about their humanity, and it is, first and foremost, their fault that this is a problem to begin with.

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[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago (10 children)

What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god.

I knew a black guy once who said the problem with the well-endowed black man stereotype is that if you take it out for a girl and it doesn’t hit the floor, she’s disappointed.

And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope

cringe is that what that means? I saw some recommended video about a guy meeting his ideal snow bunny and I thought “oh she spends a lot of time on the slopes, he’s into skiers I guess.”

Which, besides the dehumanizing of marginalized groups, devalues earnest interracial couples. Like it makes it look like the relationship must be about fetishizing and not, oh hey maybe these people actually care about each other and love each other.

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (9 children)

is that what that means? I saw some recommended video about a guy meeting his ideal snow bunny and I thought “oh she spends a lot of time on the slopes, he’s into skiers I guess.”

Having spent a brief stint living in a ski town, everybody always used "snow bunny" to mean "white woman who can't really ski, but goes to the ski lodge to hook up with the cute rich white guys."

But in recent years, I guess The Youths have decided it means "white woman who exclusively dates black dudes." Language is weird.

[–] jaywalker@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Snow bunny has had the "white woman who only likes black men" meaning for at least 30 years or so. I'm 40 and recall hearing it as a kid, but it was in Alabama

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fair enough. I guess it's taken a few decades to spread to places that actually have snow.

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