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[Short Rant] I'm deeply uncomfortable when people take pride and comfort in being fetishized. (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by Angel@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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[CW: Fetishization on the Basis of Identity (Race, Transness, Etc.)]

I'm mainly talking about this in the context of race, but it applies to other categories such as trans people as well. My main issue with this is that this type of openness to accepting fetishization on the basis of identity enables toxic tendencies.

What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god. And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope (which is just racist), and these black men who don't realize the problem with this will eat it up.

This isn't pleasant; it's just dehumanizing. This isn't just a problem for straight people either. Gay men, for instance, can have this toxic shit going on too. I understand that, especially when you're a part of a marginalized group, it can seem tempting to celebrate what seems to translate to you being a desirable person, even if it's on the basis of a creepy fetish, but that will ultimately do more harm than good.

I just hope these people come to realize that they're not taken as being a desirable "person" in these circumstances, but rather, a desirable object. These fetishists do not care about their humanity, and it is, first and foremost, their fault that this is a problem to begin with.

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[–] waluigiblunts@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I was only aware of the original meaning of the word (women who shit on other women to try to be more attractive to men). I'm not American, so that probably explains why I didn't know it originated in AAVE. Thanks for the history! Personally I disagree with Lenin's Cat that 'pick me' is an awful term. It's a very self-descriptive term that gets the concept across very easily - more words in the English language should be like it.

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

That’s fair, also, that means you had the correct definition in mind already so that’s good actually!