this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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God conservative grifts are so fucking easy
I can think of a few funny scenarios to come out of this.
Customer: "Ok, so with 15% tip that comes to-"
Audible cocking of a revolver
Customer: "Sorry I misspoke, so with 50% tip that comes to-"
In a better world:
Assistant: "Uhh, sir? A bunch of the drivers are outside demanding a dental plan and stock options"
CEO: "Too bad, they're contractors and not employees, have security escort them out"
Assistant: "Sir, security is refusing to touch this one. They're all armed to the teeth. One of the, erm, contractors is open carrying a Barrett .50 Calibre sniper rifle and is pointing it at your portrait in the lobby mouthing the words "pew pew pew" repeatedly while miming the motion of recoil on the gun"
CEO: "...actually their demands are perfectly reasonable"