this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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[–] henfredemars 66 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

If you say the magic words, laws don’t apply.

EDIT: I looked up two of these. Theft prevention act? It’s like they’re randomly cutting and pasting parts of laws and in their heads somehow it makes sense.

I can also randomly pick words from legal documents to say anything I want. But then, every word in this post came from a legal document including the following:

I now own your house and by having read this post you consent to a transfer of all your assets to me. No signature or confirmation required. No take backs.

[–] eltrain123@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
[–] SpaghettiYeti@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, it has to be "NO TAKESIE BACKSIES, WITHOUT PREJUDICE". Now it's all mine!

[–] eltrain123@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Fuck! Ya got me.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah well your spouse is now my spouse, oogity boogity I said the magic words. Also gimme all your shoes.

[–] henfredemars 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Granted. You are now on the hook for her child support payments for my raising her kids.

The one thing a sovcit can never do.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You didn't capitalize anything so I'm RUBBER and you're GLUE. It is now your RESPONSIBILITY as I have claimed my RIGHTS.

[–] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Where’s your red ink thumbprint?

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

You didn't use EMOJIS so payment in the FORM of $1M upfront, THEN the usual PAYMENTS 😘🤣🤔🤑💥🦶🐢

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I think that's two things: raised kids, and paying child support.

[–] wander1236@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

You can't own my house if I don't own a house. Checkmate liberal

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"natural born" is part of the qualification to be President of the United States in the constitution.

"Under God" is a clause that was officially added to the pledge of allegiance in the 1950s. The pledge of allegiance doesn't really have much legal significance at all in the United States, even if it is recited daily in schools.

"Natural born woman" sounds a lot like an Aretha Franklin hit.

[–] mPony@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

after reading about people who don't understand law I can only say YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE less of a dumbass. (not you, mkwt, all you did was put Aretha in my head which is never a bad thing, also FREEEEeeeeeWAY OF LOVE)