this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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Asklemmy
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As far as I can tell, "body positivity" is for ugly chicks. Pretty chicks don't need it and physical attractiveness doesn't exist for men.
As a man, the only thing about me that matters to anyone else is what value they can extract from me, and when the answer becomes "none" I will be discarded. Doesn't matter if a man looks like the inside of a kidney as long as he can pick up the check. Everything else about you is irrelevant.
I don't think most women are that cynical. Like do transactional relationships exist? Absolutely, but I don't think that's the majority of them and you probably don't want that kind of relationship anyways.
In fact, in my experience, women are typically made uncomfortable when I try to insist on paying for the entire bill on a date.
I think for a lot of women, it's as simple as, "am I comfortable and do I have fun when I'm hanging out with this guy?".
But at the end of the day, women are not a monolith that all think and act the same. Just as men are not a monolith that all think and act the same. So it is unwise to assume all women want the same things out of a relationship.
Yeah here's the thing about the women who just want to "be comfortable and have fun"...life has a way of becoming not comfortable or fun sometimes. Call up Little Miss "He makes me laugh" and tell her you've had a table saw accident and you need her to drive you to the hospital. See how much longer she sticks around.
I had a girl break up with me once because I said to her "I think I need to go to the dentist." Like the next words she said to me were "I don't think this is going to work out." Whatever we were, it certainly wasn't "friends." Turns out I was right, I've got a polymer bicuspid now.
The women who want to be around you because you're fun will walk out of the theater the second they're no longer enjoying the show. It's about what value they can extract from you. Always is.
Do you have any platonic relationships? Like family or friends? Are these relationships transactional for you as well?
There are people who have some of the same ancestors as me that I hear from once every couple of years when they need some furniture moved.
Damn that's sad to hear man.
I think I now understand why you believe women are only interested in extracting value out of you. It's because that's how you've been treated. And further, you've accepted this as a universal truth. And when entering new relationships yourself, you start with the question, what value can I extract from this other person? That's probably why you don't have any male friends, because you can't extract any value from them. And you self-select for romantic relationships in the same way. You're stuck in a cycle. If you remain set in your view that relationships are transactional, it's hard to imagine you ever experiencing one that is not.