chat

8151 readers

2 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 4 years ago

MODERATORS

EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net

Quimby@hexbear.net

ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net

SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net

InsidiousTrackers@hexbear.net

My gf gaining weight is stressing her out (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

36 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I tried typing this into Google, but it returned 20 pages of "My wife gained weight and I don't love her. How can I convince her to start an eating disorder?" FFS the West.

Comrades, I wish to fuck that my gf gaining a few kilos was even in my top ten list of problems right now. I tell her that's she's fine. We're getting older, and we both put on a few kilos. I try to be supportive, and just let her feel comfortable with the new reality. It's like a major stressor for her. I guess some of her workmates and relatives have made comments. I tell her to tell those people to tell me. What kind of person comments on another person's appearance?

Just a final rant. Both me and me gf work sorta stressful office jobs, and we both end up doing a lot of overtime. Stress, anxiety, and a lack of time contribute to a less than ideal health situation. I know IRL a few venture capitalist types that spend hours in the gym everyday, but they're the worst humans imaginable. My gf comes from a working class background, and she's one of the kindest people I know. I don't mean to shame anyone that loves the gym, but spending adequate time on fitness isn't super easy in late stage capitalism.

Anyhow, if any of you comment on anyone's weight ever, I will literally claw your face.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I don't think so. If your partner is expressing these things and you say, "Well, I'm not bothered by your weight at all but if you want maybe we can start a daily walk in the afternoon maybe that would help and might just be nice," then it's not a big deal. I didn't think I'd need to tell people explicitly how to be affectionate and thoughtful to their partner. Kind of assumed that was a gimme.

Or, you know, you could just come home and yell, "HEY FATSO WANNA WALK THE THUNDER THIGHS OFF TONIGHT?" I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.

[–] Chronicon@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you ever been/been with an insecure person? Rational or not, switching your message from "you're fine the way you are" to "let's try going for walks" is liable to cause their insecurities to go into overdrive thinking you secretly do mind, and do think they need to lose weight, and I'm not sure any amount of prefacing and reassurances can negate that effect if she.

If she were able and willing to make time to exercise, then absolutely, be supportive, but suggesting it outright might be something to be careful about or avoid depending on the person. I think that's the key, we don't know this person as well as OP does, maybe she'd be receptive to that, or maybe they absolutely don't have time, or that suggestion would worsen her stress.

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

Maybe that's true. People can be insecure about certain aspects of their life, body, career, or whatever and not be insecure and unstable overall. I wasn't going to jump to conclusions about the person's partner.