this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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hmmm
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For things that are "hmmm".
Rule 1: All post titles except for meta posts should be just plain "hmmm" and nothing else, no emotes, no capitalisation, no extending it to "hmmmm" etc.
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It's obviously fake, my Lotus SmartToilet only ever requests a face scan to verify my identity.
You gotta enroll in AnusID! The flush times are significantly faster and the probe to verify you only hurts a little.
PUCKERPRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN. PUCKER PRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN.
"I just gotta check your asssshole sir"
Just like when I go to the local bodega for weed.
Smart Pipe Inc. is a Registered Sex Offender
Smart Pipe, Inc.
Sadly, very relevant...
https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-designed-a-smart-toilet-with-butt-recognition-technology-2020-4
Anal print changed from hemorrhoids.
If it was really smart it would scan your butthole.
I thought we were all joking here but what the fuck: Stanford’s new ‘smart toilet’ will check out your anus
Full article from Stanford: https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/04/smart-toilet-monitors-for-signs-of-disease.html
Damn, I heard about that a couple years ago and just looked it up again...
https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-designed-a-smart-toilet-with-butt-recognition-technology-2020-4
I remember reading something about Dali I think getting butthole prints of people and discovering that butthole prints are just as identifying as finger prints.
Huh... I never thought about it. But that makes a lot of sense.
Please scan your genitals and a copy of your government issued identification to verify your identity.