this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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Strange question: How do you ask for a nice big warm hug from your partner without ASKING. I feel like a need some spontaneous affection, like I come home and just get a bear hug or something. But asking totally ruins the feeling of the surprise. Coffee is like a lukewarm limp handshake for the soul, but I will take it!
Maybe say to her "sometimes I really want a hug without asking so when I put my arms out would you be ok with that". If you do that often enough it becomes habit.
I feel sad you have to ask for a hug but if you don't communicate with your partner then they don't know what you want.
Also important to recognise you might have different "love languages".... Yours might be physical touch and theirs might be words of affirmation for example... Which is the case for us. I actually need to remind myself that my partner needs me to hug her.....
oh its totally this. I think maybe I just need to take the lead on some of this stuff to reminder her in a non verbal way.