Microblog Memes

So, having grown up in exurban (my old haunts are now firmly suburban) Jacksonville...

Alligator in the water behind the house?

Not mine, but the folks actually on the lake instead of the river? Sure. I saw a few. My parents did always warn me not to go into the EPA drainage easement behind the house, too. I only had to stop my car to let a gator pass one time, and that was pretty far out into the sticks.

Dinosaur bird in the front yard?

Egrets, maybe, especially after a rain. Plenty of turkey buzzards too, when there was roadkill. Really, though, all birds are dinosaurs.

Shirtless outdoor beer drinker?

Ran into this more that summer in college when we lived in my buddy's 500 sqft concrete block "lake house", but it probably happened at home too. After we moved the 30 minutes back to Gainesville for fall semester, I understand his dad got drunk one night and crashed his bass boat into one of the neighbors' dock, so he came over the next day with a 12-pack and a van full of lumber.

Gun-toting motorist?

How else to you propose he get the gun into the car? Sheesh. This was more necessary than unusual.

Spiky thing?

Now, you need thin flip flops and a big sand spur, but sure. Happened to me at least once. Also need to watch out for young prickly-pear cactus that are still small but have sprouted their thorns.

Little itchy bugs.

You'll have to be more specific. Fire ants would be the most likely. Most I ever got at once was about thirty when I stepped right in a pile while helping my dad, illegally it turns out, dump fill dirt on the aforementioned drainage easement. They may also have meant chiggers or redbugs. They're most common in the Spanish moss, but they're around everywhere, and if you get into the larvae they can also give you a bunch of red rashy-looking bites.

Hurricane parties

NE Florida was in a long hurricane lull during my time living there, but this was a pretty known thing everywhere else, and sitting out to watch the lightning was pretty common. That part of Florida also gets tornadoes.