this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (32 children)

Can someone please help me deal with some of my brainworms? This is kind of embarrassing to post so please try not to judge me. I'm trying to do better cri

cw for transphobia about masc trans people (I still love you all)I don't really know how to put it. I suppose when I hear of someone being trans masc I just feel a bit sad? I know I should be happy for them living their best life, and I am, but part of me just feels like its a shame I guess? Just like "destroying" their femininity. I know its wrong to feel this way (its their body, they're happier, etc), but I just do I guess. Like a gut reaction. Am I just doomed to have that emotional reaction and try to respond "using my head"?

[–] bleepbloopbop@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

spoilerI think just getting to know some transmasc people on a closer personal level would probably help dispel that. One of my dearest oldest friends is, and like, they didn't have femininity to destroy, that was never them, and it was literally killing them in direct proportion to how hard they tried to conform. So being with them through all that really eliminated any feeling I might otherwise have had along those lines.

Is it partly an attraction thing, do you think? I've felt a twinge of that for a different acquaintance, back when I thought I wasn't bi... if you are fundamentally just not into guys, a transmasc transitioning is going from someone you might have really been drawn to, to someone you're just not attracted to at all. But the person I thought was cute just like, does not exist, it was a facade, and even if they kept the facade up it could never have worked out, same as me and my cis ex. Not to say that's what it is for you, but it's worth exploring where these feelings come from if you want to attack the thoughts at their roots.

Another thing that helps me is realizing how shitty the gender roles are for both men and women. Both have huge downsides that nobody should feel bound by, and trans people especially suffer when crammed into those little boxes, on either side.

Ultimately I think time and exposure will help you work it out. Be conscious of how you feel and don't let it affect your actions, but there's no need to feel guilty, we all have biases and brainworms that we inherit from the world around us, and they don't just disappear as soon as we notice them, it takes time and effort.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

spoilerYea it probably would cri I don't really have any trans friends atm.

I don't know. Maybe. I am attracted to and very jealous of women (I'm a bit of an egg) so maybe those are both part of it. I really try to keep my hornyness out of things though

I hope so. Its hard not to feel bad though, I know its wrong of me and I don't want to accidentally hurt someone meow-hug I love my trans comrades.

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