this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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On the other hand you can take this as an opportunity to be the greatest ~~troll~~ enigma.
I try to associate myself with the periphery of as many brutal murders and serial killers as possible. I made sure to date Jon Benet Ramsey's grand-aunt, I babysat Madeleine McCanns old classmate, I ate a burger at a diner near where the corpse of the I-70 strangler dumped a corpse, I visited London, I looked at a picture of the baltimore bridge before it collapsed, I borrowed a bullet to Bernie Sanders a few days before that JFK thing, I talked to Ted Cruz' dad, I walked past OJs house, I gave Xanax to Casey Anthony.
Some day some podcaster is gonna go insane from learning about me
how are you going to accomplish all these coincidences involving brutal murders and serial killers before they are caught without getting brutally murdered and serial killed without also intentionally creating brutal murders and serial killers?
"Going to?" Do you seriously think i would explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting the outcome?
I did it 35 minutes ago
Get as many photos of you sitting in an ominous-looking chair with a persian cat on your lap, clasping your hands together as possible, so True Crime podcasters think you're the Big Bad, the ringleader behind every single serial killer at the time.