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(Rant) sad about life (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I finally filed for divorce from my abusive wife recently. I believe she might be a clinical psychopath at this point. She picked a fight with me on my 40th birthday the other day and this ruined the time I had with my daughter. She did things like this constantly.

I just feel like she has finally completely broken me as a person...I now am unsure if I can get better. I will stay alive for my daughter's sake, but some days I really don't want to be.

I have no real resources. I have no money. Most therapists I've seen have been terrible. Most people I talk to don't seem to believe me that I've been abused. I just cannot take this anymore.

I finally got on a couple dating apps to see if that made me feel better and it had totally the opposite. It set off a very bad downward spiral.

I feel like I have a lot to offer. I'm funny, kind, smart, a talented musician/artist, I think I'm handdome even (can't post a pic obviously), but no one seems to care. It's like when I put my confidence to practice I get rejected and reminded why I shouldn't have any.

I don't know if I'll ever get better.

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[–] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I want to add one thing: I have been abused by women my entire life. My mom abused me growing up, I was molested by my female cousin (however she was younger than me at the time (about 7) so I dont blame her - she was simply repeating what had happened to her), and then abused by my wife for almost 20 years.

It stinks. Everyone assumed my wife did all the parenting and housework when this was the opposite. Counselors would scold me for bringing up how my wife treated me and deny my abuse, etc. I also know multiple relationships personally where this is the case.

I know discussing men's issues often devolves into nonsense, I wish there was a better way to discuss things.

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have a similar experience when I try to discuss how abusive my mum was to me, my dad and my brother but no one wants to hear it or at worst will say it was my fault or I did something wrong. Its a bias I've noticed a lot of people have and it's an incredibly damaging and dangerous bias. Somehow because the damage wasn't physical it means it didn't happen or didn't exist...

[–] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

I have read a lot of books about narcissistic regimes and this type of thing is common.