this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
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I am not a native English speaker and I have sometimes referred to people as male and female (as that is what I have been taught) but I have received some backlash in some cases, especially for the word "female", is there some negative thought in the word which I am unaware of?

I don't know if this is the best place to ask, if it's not appropriate I have no problem to delete it ^^

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[–] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 364 points 1 year ago (53 children)

I feel like a lot of answers here are dancing around why people find it offensive without really addressing it.

As an adjective "female" is completely fine to distinguish between genders when applied to humans. As in "a female athlete" or when a form asks you to select "male" or "female" (ideally with additional options "diverse" and "prefer not to answer").

Where it's problematic is when it's used as a noun. In English "a male" and "a female" is almost exclusively reserved for animals. For humans we have "a man" and "a woman". Calling a person "a female" is often considered offensive because it carries the implication of women being either animals, property or at least so extremely different from the speaker that they don't consider them equal. This impression is reinforced by the fact that the trend of calling women "females" is popular with self-proclaimed "nice guys" who blame women for not wanting to date them when in reality it's their own behavior (for example calling women "females") that drives potential partners away.

So in itself, the word "female" is just as valid as "male" and in some contexts definitely the right word to use but the way it has been used gives it a certain negative connotation.

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (15 children)

Male & female are sexes, not genders.

[–] jsomae@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In any society where male roles and female roles differ (e.g. fathers play ball with their kids; mothers teach their kids to sew), male and female are also genders in addition to being sexes. What else would you call these genders?

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gender’s not something I care about (social roles given to sexes). Honestly, I think it’s a worthless convention & conversation.

Sex is just what we call our roles in the creation of life. One sex carries the baby, the other causes the baby. This cannot be changed to the other. A female, regardless of their precious feelings & conscious identity, is the one that becomes pregnant. The male, even if he’s trans, is the one that causes the pregnancy.

When I ask for someone’s sex, I couldn’t care less about how they feel or what pronouns they’d like to be called by. I’m literally not referring to their consciousness, just what type of meat robot that consciousness is in.

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your response demonstrates why you're not qualified to have an opinion on what is or isn't a gender.

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’m qualified to know gender ≠ sex. Your opinion demonstrates why you’re delusional.

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was never disputing that, so I don't see what what point you think you're making.

What is the gender of a cis boy?

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess the gender is “cis boy?” But I don’t care about gender. I’d consider gender a mental state. While sex is a physical state. Sex determines the part your body plays in biological sexual reproduction, under normal/usual/typical/common genetic circumstances. Aka you either get pregnant or you cause someone else to be pregnant.

Again, why the fuck does gender matter beyond an individual’s mental state? It’s literally a different matter from sex. Hence why trans is even a thing at all.

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

And you’re a moron.

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