this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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This was a problem with the friend I was in love with. They always used my pronouns and stuck up for me, but when it became known that I had “feelings for them” it seems like I stopped being one of their “girl friends.” They didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t trying to get in their pants.
Since then I’ve just fucking given up on being a “trans girl.” I no longer cringe inside when someone calls me a “he” or calls me “sir.”
It doesn’t help that I am basically a guy in every facet. Hell I don’t even feel all that gross about having not shaved in like a week. And I act like a straight cis dude in a lot of ways; it feels wrong for me to expect to be “one of the girls.”
Assuming social pressure wasn't a factor, what would you like to be? Where does the center of your soul gravitate?
It's difficult to maintain friendships where attraction is asymmetrical. Most people don't have the maturity to get it under wraps and it tends to seep into every interaction regardless of gender. I don't know enough to say that your friend's internal transphobia is shining through but in general romantic feelings just complicate otherwise simple transactions.
I mean we can't say she wouldn't have reacted similarly whether or not you were a "real" girl in her eyes.