this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The president asks his favorite Secret Service guy to come into the Oval.

"Have a seat, Mickey."

"Sir?"

"Sit."

"I... Um... You want me to sit here?"

"Yeah. Right there across from me at the Resolute Desk."

"But I..."

"My, my - you have a very Irish face. When did your people come from the old country to the US?"

"Around 1900."

"Good, good. What are you doing still standing there. I'm telling you to sit, son."

He does as he is told.

"Good, good. So - I know you got contacts at the CIA. Deep contacts. Your dad reports directly to the director, right?"

"Yes, sir." He's feeling very uncomfortable sitting down in front of the president.

"You're going to take care of something for me. A serious problem. You will remove a serious stumbling block, Mikey."

Agent Murphy just blinks.

"You, me, and your father are going to be like a family of sorts. Utmost loyalty and infinite discretion." The president starts ranting to himself. "I need Kamala off the ticket. I need her off. Off... the... ticket." The president has a blank stare.

Agent Murphy is worried that the president is having another "episode".

After about ten seconds expression returns to the president's face. "What happened? What happened? How long was I out?... No. Don't tell me what happened. I remember. Utmost loyalty and infinite discretion." Without realizing it - the president is using his negotiation voice: "Here's the thing. Your father's gonna get you the heart attack gun and you're going to be my angel of salvation so I can put Nikki on the ticket."

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You're going to take care of something for me. A serious problem. You will remove a serious stumbling block, Mikey."

"What's that, sir?"

"Stairs."

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Agent Murphy had a bad case of the flu and had to miss work. This was the result...

I like how on the upper right - it seems there's a drop of water that got on the lens. But it's just a light in the distance.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

It was popular on Twitter as...

Ska horns blaring

PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP

Tweet

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Why isn't this an emoji?

[–] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

Brandon hits the griddy for Israel

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can't wait for my president to look like the old man in the Korea hat at the nursing home with the huge perpetual shiner over his eye because he falls more frequently than a bruise can heal

Kind of like how Jimmy Carter always looks like he did three rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson