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Haha yeah, gay men's hookup/pickup culture is very... forward. I think there's much less constraints that are imposed by broader societal expectations within the community - there's a very laissez-faire attitude towards people's romantic and sexual preferences, and towards pursuing these.

I'm stealth pansexual and always have been. I'm not masculine-acting in a self-conscious sort of way but I think I come off as a typical guy who's a bit nerdy or kinda plain - basically a just like a typical guy you'd encounter in an office work sort of job. I know how to ping on a guy's gaydar if I want to get their attention but even it's not uncommon for queer guys to give me the really?? look.

Whenever I've been in an opposite-gender relationship or encounter with a cishet woman, they've always been a bit dumbstruck by how unconstrained I am with regards to sexuality. Not in a creepy or inappropriate way but just like a very forthright and unconcerned way. Internally, whenever this happens to me I always think to myself "Are the straights okay??"

I think that the queer community, especially white cis queer men, have undergone a fair bit of "renovation" in more recent years since becoming accepted into mainstream society and culture so there might be a bit of a generational gap where older queer guys are much more aligned to this old school queer culture whereas people of your age might be a bit more... how to put it? Conservative kinda sucks to use in these terms but maybe mainstream, on account of being less ostracised by the community at large. No shade on either side of that equation, it just is what it is.