this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I don't think many trans people think dude is gender neutral.
My go to when cis guys say it is has always been "Do you fuck dudes then?"
More often than not trans people put up with it among friend groups purely because they've been terrorised into not complaining out of fear of losing the few social groups they have left, giving the false impression to some who "have a trans friend that's ok with it" that it's fine, when in reality they quietly would prefer otherwise.
Yes.
Yes that's fine but most of these people aren't gay/bi lmao
I'm bi but mostly date women.
But I used to call my most serious ex "dude" all the time
i used to know a dude i was interested in but they were aro/ace so there's some subset of dudes i'd be into but my partner attraction is heavily informed by typical secondary characteristics and i'm agender myself so i'm not even sure how to usefully label my orientation.
I would address my cis-afab partner and her girlfriends sat at a table as "hey dudes" some portion of the time instead of "hey guys", so you tell me if that means i was fucking a dude. i'm not a language doctor but it seems like some usages are contextually gender neutral and others aren't.
I can agree with this. Issue is that, for trans people that are also a little twitchy about it, those contextually gender-neutral situations lose their contextual neutrality.
and of course it can be use aggressively to invalidate, like neutral pronouns.