this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse

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honestly gircel and halimede are like the only twitter accounts im sad to not be able to read.

ID: A screenshot of a twitter post, by faith (@girlcel_)

woke Batman: that's the difference between you and me, kid; I have a code - i NEVER misgender my enemies, that'd make me as bad as them. it ain't right

Transfem Nightwing: you called me bro 2 hours ago

woke Batman:[yelling] bro is Gender Neutral dude, you fucking Words Fascist

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[–] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I thought "bro" was gender neutral, like "dude" or "boyz".

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I don't think many trans people think dude is gender neutral.

My go to when cis guys say it is has always been "Do you fuck dudes then?"

More often than not trans people put up with it among friend groups purely because they've been terrorised into not complaining out of fear of losing the few social groups they have left, giving the false impression to some who "have a trans friend that's ok with it" that it's fine, when in reality they quietly would prefer otherwise.

[–] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My go to when cis guys say it is has always been "Do you fuck dudes then?"

Yes.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yes that's fine but most of these people aren't gay/bi lmao

I'm bi but mostly date women.

But I used to call my most serious ex "dude" all the time

[–] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My go to when cis guys say it is has always been "Do you fuck dudes then?"

i used to know a dude i was interested in but they were aro/ace so there's some subset of dudes i'd be into but my partner attraction is heavily informed by typical secondary characteristics and i'm agender myself so i'm not even sure how to usefully label my orientation.

I would address my cis-afab partner and her girlfriends sat at a table as "hey dudes" some portion of the time instead of "hey guys", so you tell me if that means i was fucking a dude. i'm not a language doctor but it seems like some usages are contextually gender neutral and others aren't. shrug-outta-hecks

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

some usages are contextually gender neutral and others aren't

I can agree with this. Issue is that, for trans people that are also a little twitchy about it, those contextually gender-neutral situations lose their contextual neutrality.

[–] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

and of course it can be use aggressively to invalidate, like neutral pronouns.

[–] milistanaccount09@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

i would assume this is a bit but the he/him pronouns make me concerned it might not be

edit: okay the "boyz" makes me err on the side of this being a bit lol

[–] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I'm not doing a bit, being genuine. I have would assume Phrases like "me and the boyz" being gender natural, I assume it's meant to be read as "me and my dumb friends".

I would assume dude/bro to be gender natural as well they seem to be applied to everyone. He/She/They/Them, the works.

Again just asking, not trying to be obtuse or weird or anything.

[–] milistanaccount09@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's all cool! It's important to consider the hegemonic reasons for why 'dude' and 'bro' might be considered gender neutral. Referring to someone as a man has become so common among men that it sometimes gets spread around. This pattern though really only happens in communities that are predominately male. There's also a major transmisogynist element: men will often say that they employ 'dude' and 'bro' in a gender neutral fashion but in fact don't direct it towards cis women, and only call trans women and other men 'dude.' As another note, I used to hang out with a lot of AFAB nonbinary people and they never really used phrases like that, so I would say it's a phenomenon really exclusive to men.

I know a lot of trans women who do consider being called 'dude' misgendering. I'm personally Fine with it (and calling people dude isn't a habit I've fully purged from myself) so I don't judge people too harshly for doing it, but being constantly referred to as one of 'the boys' makes playing multiplayer games really frustrating for me. Repeated misgendering is the reason why I really stopped playing multiplayer games with random people.

[–] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I know a lot of trans women who do consider being called 'dude' misgendering. I'm personally Fine with it (and calling people dude isn't a habit I've fully purged from myself) so I don't judge people too harshly for doing it, but being constantly referred to as one of 'the boys' makes playing multiplayer games really frustrating for me. Repeated misgendering is the reason why I really stopped playing multiplayer games with random people.

I see what you’re saying now. I feel you (not the corny liberal “I see you I hear you”, but in the comradely “I gotchu” sense). Appreciate you being cool with your explanation. I see where you’re coming from, I'll think this of this sort thing when talking to the trans friends.

[–] bunnygirl@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

I wouldn't consider any of those to be gender neutral tbh

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Being called dude or bro genuinely bothers the fuck out of me. I will speak up about it if called either or.