this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 98 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Make sure to commit all fraud by US Post mail. This ensures your trial will be in Federal Court, which is much busier than your state's court, ensuring your case never gets heard!

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This according to my lawyer friend carries a maximum punishment of a million dollar fine and 30 years in prison.

[–] OrnateLuna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 years ago

Easy just do this trick after you gotten more than 2 million in loans. Spend 30 years in prison and retire

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Just send a bunch of nonsense to the Governor (or President I guess since we're talking about making a federal case) to get their letterhead then create a fake pardon for yourself

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Yeah, corporations and presidents are both known for personally responding through snail mail on official letterhead when sent gibberish.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wait, I'm not sure, does the federal court flag have a fringe on it?

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

GOTCHA! I, TheFriar, a Man, do hereby and solemnly state, forthwith and hereto, that I do declare and state that I, TheFriar, a Man, rescind and relinquish and reconfiscate my citizenship to THE UNIRED STATES, a corporation, because I, TheFriar, A Man, humbly do not recognize nor honor the code of said Corporation. Heretofore.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Well shit, I guess there's nothing we can do. We'll have to let you off the hook for pretty much everything.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Idk, I've been waiting on a date for my small claims case for over a year. I've called about it but just get told it'll eventually get scheduled. I've given up hope.