this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2024
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We can make it happen. We have the technology.
I've heard this sentiment before. I've even heard of folks doing IVF just to guarantee gender.
But that tends to be a separate phenomena from the Gender Reveal Party, which is more about making a spectacle of the reveal than being invested in the outcome.
definitely a different angle but i see it all as broadly related phenomena, like it's all rooted in a weird and very disconcerting obsession with one's child-accessory embodying all the things one associates with that gender rather than letting the child be their own person. the gender reveal is just announcing all of that to the world in a super obnoxious way and i do think if you're motivated to do that then at least one of the parents is invested in that outcome
I mean, pre-natal they absolutely aren't their own person. There's an umbilical cord to prove it.
I agree that investing someone with gender from day one is this bad seed that'll threaten to bare poisoned fruit. But also... idk. Objecting to people throwing a gender themed baby shower just has the energy of those conservatives who freaked out at Starbucks for saying "Happy Holidays" or the MRAs who will throw a fit over a Bris.
The kids are going to experiment with gender regardless of what color smoke their parents use in their thermite explosives. Other than injecting a checky "and if they don't like it, they can always change it later" remark after the colors show, it seems a rough place to take a stand.
Some folks just want to celebrate everything. Some folks just want to fit in. It's a trend and it's an excuse to eat tacky themed cakes, so people will go for it regardless.
I definitely think there's a desire to bond with a kid who shares your gender. But that's not something the presence or absence of an ostentatious display decides.
a gender reveal party for a baby may not determine all of these things in some yes/no binary fashion but i think it's a little weird to imply that people explosively celebrating their new infant's baby bits are not in any way invested in it. gender reveal parties are obviously not the genesis of gendered expectations in society but it's certainly building on those foundations. i'm not pretending to have all the answers and maybe i, a trans woman, am just being identical to a men's rights activist, idk. in any event, im a person on the internet so you don't have to worry about me criminalizing the practice any time soon.