this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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oh i definitely hear people being disappointed. a coworker was ranting about his niece's gender disappointing him! not even for like, rich person reasons. just gender essentialism, like pure "i wanted to be a cool uncle to a boy and that's been stolen from me" type entitlement
like i cannot emphasize enough this is just because many people view children as basically accessories whose gender is only important as an aesthetic they want. they want to raise a boy because they'd like to paint their kids room blue and play baseball or a girl because they want to paint a room pink and watch disney princess movies. zero actual consideration for children as beings that could have any thoughts on things
It is impossible to be a cool uncle to your niece
...i mean even a baby has thoughts, and it's not good to just treat them like a dressup doll. and it only takes a few years for them to talk and at that point it's even more fucked up to treat them like that, which is what's being discussed here
like, i don't think we should just let a 5 year old kid do literally anything they want, but coming into a conversation about how oppressive gender roles and other things we dump on kids can be when parents don't treat them with any amount of respect and going "i totally get why the parents do that, i do that to my kid!" is maybe not the best. like, if you watched a movie with your kid and they said they hated it would you just go "no you don't, let's watch more like it," or would you believe them when they tell you what they do and don't enjoy? or if you made your kid do ballet or some shit. kids have agency, even at incredibly young ages. you need to respect it