During the holidays I’d ask the women if they need me to do anything. They tell me no, I don’t know how to do anything. Then I turn around and their husbands are nowhere near the kitchen and just drinking and watching football in the living room.

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If someone tells you not to do anything, just pick up a hand towel and start drying dishes or cleaning used kitchen workspaces.

Some men will offer to help and then do a task so badly they'll never be asked again, so you might need to demonstrate a basic level of competence first.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nah my mom rarely lets me do anything even when I was a kid lol. So yeah, I don’t know how to do shit, but no one seems to give me any tasks outside of “put dishes in the table” and it never progresses

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Oh yeah, my mom was the same.

I left home at 16 and haven't spoken to her in decades. Honestly a great deal happier.

[–] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

"How can I help?" is the golden phrase. It implies you're going to help (it isn't asking if you can help) but it allows that you helping might just be staying out of the way. If it's that, stay out of the way but watch and learn, or provide emotional support by hanging out while someone else does the thing.