this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2023
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Breadtube if it didn't suck.

Post videos you genuinely enjoy and want to share, duh. Celebrate the diversity of interests shared by chapochatters by posting a deep dive into Venetian kelp farming, I dunno. Also media criticism, bite-sized versions of left-wing theory, all the stuff you expected. But I am curious about that kelp farming thing now that you mentioned it.

Low effort / spam videos might be removed, especially weeb content.

There is a cytube that you can paste videos into and watch with whoever happens to be around. It's open submission unless there's something important to commandeer it with at the time.

A weekly watch party happens every Saturday (Sunday down under), with video nominations Saturday-Monday, voting Monday-Thursday. See the pin for whatever stage it's currently in.

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[–] aaro@hexbear.net 38 points 2 years ago (35 children)

there's simply no shot that a sizeable percentage of men who play girl characters aren't eggs shrug-outta-hecks

very surprised to see the video not even mention this possibility

[–] YuccaMan@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I play girl characters in games far more than I used to, but I mean, I don't think I'm uncomfortable with my assigned gender(?)

However, I wouldn't be truthful here if I didn't admit that I've started to question how comfortable I really am with living life as a man. I can't tell if there's something about that I don't like, or if I'm just dissatisfied with life in general right now. Or both.

One thing I do know for sure is that girl characters are just more fun to look at. Seriously, my favorite Tav on BG3 is just the most beautiful Amazonian tiefling, I love her so much

[–] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago (3 children)

so it begins

you have a very neat road ahead of you

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If by "neat" you mean very painful because generally once that egg cracks various feelings get worse and worse and worse and worse until something is done about it... I sincerely hope they have a good network around them if that's the road coming.

[–] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

yeah

yeah

sadness-abysmal yeah

[–] YuccaMan@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] aaro@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

seconding what you're hearing that questioning is good. It's easy to see an AMAB man-identifying person expressing discontent with masculinity and immediately start the "TRANSGIRL farquaad-point" posting, and a lot of folks do. I will say that what you're thinking are very common thoughts that shortly pre-transition folks have a lot, but that said, your gender journey, should you decide to have one, is yours, and while you should lean into what you hear from your peers, you do you. If you think there's a chance you might be transfem or otherwise gender non-conforming, I'd recommend digging around here https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ (long) and this https://medium.com/@cassielabelle/gender-dysphoria-isnt-what-you-think-6fdc7ae3ac85 (short), and seeing if anything resonates with you, but bear in mind that there is absolutely nothing universal here and lots of the experiences are things that cis people can feel too.

At the end of the day, this reply gets it right - you can try things out and you'll be all the stronger for it. I never played as girl characters, but here I am, several months into E and at transfem levels, but at the same time I'm going to the gym and curling/benching and keeping stubble on my face - there's no right answer and there's no right process besides taking everything a la carte and embracing things that bring you joy while setting free things that don't.

[–] aaro@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
[–] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

YEAHHHHHHHHhhhh

[–] JohannaChittarra@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Questioning is good! I love when folks take the opportunity to explore their gender. Even if at the end of it you find you are in fact cis, you are deepening your knowledge of yourself and your gender identity. Honestly, I think the world would be a better place if everyone took the time to do that. All the best to you in the new year!

[–] YuccaMan@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Thank you so much, you as well! And yeah, this has been a weird, difficult year for me, and it's come with a fair bit of introspection for sure. I finally admitted to myself that I'm bisexual, though I'm already committed and haven't been able to really explore that yet.

At any rate, my most honest answer that I can give right now is that I'm probably cis, but not terribly interested in performing manhood traditionally. How far and in what fashion I want to break away from that is something I haven't yet figured out. But I might also on some level be conflating those feelings with the deep envy and yearning I feel when I see the solidarity between women, particularly trans women, and other queer people generally. It's made me realize just how lonely I've been for so many years. Part of that is on me, I'm terrible about putting myself out there, but I suspect it's also to do with manhood generally. Whatever the case, I really am tired of it.

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

... deep envy and yearning I feel when I see the solidarity between women, particularly trans women, and other queer people generally...

This is another common trans thought. Doesnt necessarily mean anytjing though either. Gender envy isn't entirely within the realm if trans, it just manifests differently.

Best way to know is to try acting on gendery thoughts you would normally suppress, if touve been suppressing stuff. Experimentation is key to ajy self discovery.

If you're sure you're cis, the point of experimentation might be lost on you, or at least not particularly appealing on some level.

[–] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

talk to trans women more (you're not weird for doing so btw, asking questions to find your identity isn't a bad thing)

If you woke up tomorrow as a woman version of you, would you be okay with that?

[–] YuccaMan@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's pretty hard for me to imagine what I would look like lol, tall and burly and hairy as I am now, but certainly nothing about that possibility bothers me. I've always preferred the company of women. Totally not incriminating myself further here, I know

[–] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

What counts is how comfortable you are with yourself

and idk ya can change a lot with HRT if you're interested:

(all AMAB to female hormone treatment)

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If youre comfortable with being a man, but not with the totality of masculinity, demiman and GNC are options. Ive been thinking I might be a demiman as my bio states.

[–] YuccaMan@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'll have to give that some thought myself, but of course, in the best of all possible worlds, we would redefine what masculinity even is, as it's clear that many aspects of traditional masculinity are harmful, to us and to everyone around us

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

Yeah i go back and forth between "im a demiman" and "i strive to be a positive represination of nontoxic masculinity"

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