this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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askchapo

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38
Thoughts on “emotional labor?” (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Hohsia@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Was thinking about this last night. I have friends who I really don’t know anything about on an emotional level because I’ve drilled into my head it’s a conversation meant to be shared in therapy. But there’s also a part of me that sees the value in getting to know people as humans and not just their 9-5 selves. I have fem-presenting friends who seem to be more open to these types of conversations, but I genuinely want to find the line between sharing and over sharing. As a man, It’s pretty depressing to think about tbh, knowing other men for decades but not really knowing anything about them besides their favorite teams or beer.

Is this a thing that’s exclusive to males? Also, if you have any good literature recommendations for this topic please drop below 😅

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[–] Saeculum@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

For me personally, I'm happy to talk about this sort of thing with my friends, but I'm not particularly interested in making friends with my co-workers.

There's being friendly and polite of course, but I'm perfectly happy with my existing social circle and the last thing I want is my professional life starting to leak into my personal one.

If people are only engaging with the 9-5 selves, I would assume they're not too interested in sharing more.

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

Indeed, makes sense. I have friends I’ve never worked with in my life who only care to talk about things like their job, so to spice things up a little, I ask them questions and usually get them to talking about how they hate it. Usually opens the door for talk of socialism sicko-yes

That’s as far as I’ve gotten with those types, but I would like to understand more like the specifics of what they value in life