this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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askchapo

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Thoughts on telling a co-worker you find them attractive? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Baggage_Bot@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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I'm into a co-worker. Nothing indicates he's interested or even into guys, but I'm bad at reading social cues. He knows I'm not straight and we talk regularly at work.

It feels like it's obvious I like him, but again, social cues. I was thinking about saying something direct and just being honest, but I don't want to stress him out. I don't expect him to like me back, but that would be great.

I guess I'm asking how uncool is it to communicate that to someone at work?

Edit - I just wanted to say thanks and I hear what a lot of you are saying. I was under the assumption that being around someone you like and not telling them you like them is dishonest and unfair. It turns out I need to reevaluate some things about myself.

I need to be careful and I don't want to risk making work worse for me/alienate another person who's trying to work in peace.

I'm just glad I got to talk about the feeling somewhere shit once. Thanks again!

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[–] D61@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

Work isn't neutral territory, its a place you have to be at so you can eat and the lights turn on in the house. Maybe don't spring this type of info on them at work.

If there are places where co-workers mingle after work, that might be the place to start inquiring about their personal preferences (either from then or from other coworkers if everybody is chatting up everybody else).

My knee jerk response is to agree with the "don't date coworkers unless you can afford it" but I also know that work pretty much eats up all of a person's social life these days.

Edit - I just wanted to say thanks and I hear what a lot of you are saying. I was under the assumption that being around someone you like and not telling them you like them is dishonest and unfair. It turns out I need to reevaluate some things about myself.

If it is affecting your ability to work with/near them, then yeah, maybe that could be the time to treat this like a band-aid and just rip it off to clear things up. But if everybody is being chill right now, mmaaayyybbeee error on the side of "taking it slow and feeling them out in less direct ways."