this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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askchapo

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Thoughts on telling a co-worker you find them attractive? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Baggage_Bot@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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I'm into a co-worker. Nothing indicates he's interested or even into guys, but I'm bad at reading social cues. He knows I'm not straight and we talk regularly at work.

It feels like it's obvious I like him, but again, social cues. I was thinking about saying something direct and just being honest, but I don't want to stress him out. I don't expect him to like me back, but that would be great.

I guess I'm asking how uncool is it to communicate that to someone at work?

Edit - I just wanted to say thanks and I hear what a lot of you are saying. I was under the assumption that being around someone you like and not telling them you like them is dishonest and unfair. It turns out I need to reevaluate some things about myself.

I need to be careful and I don't want to risk making work worse for me/alienate another person who's trying to work in peace.

I'm just glad I got to talk about the feeling somewhere shit once. Thanks again!

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[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

It largely depends on your situation.

If you’re literally sitting 3 feet away from each other every single day, maybe don’t say anything lol. At the very least, ask them out to lunch or something to get a sense of what they like (though don’t do it too often or else you’ll solidify yourself as just a friend).

But if you’re coworkers as in he’s in the finance department and you’re in the legal department and you’re on the opposite floors, then it would be safer. If it doesn’t work out, then you likely will never have to see each other again. And if you do, you should both be mature enough to have moved on given sufficient time.

Regardless, I wouldn’t do it physically at work. Maybe if you’re both chatting outside before heading home, it might be a good time. Or better yet do it on an off day instead of when it’s night outside and no one is around