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Americans are lonely and it’s killing them. How the US can combat this new epidemic.
(www.usatoday.com)
this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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It costs too much to be out and be social. There is no place for people to congregate that doesn’t require you to spend money. Even churches have $ expectations. In most places the local public library is the last free third space. I know everyone seems to love remote work, but for me remote work forced the place of my biggest stress to be in my house and I hate it. I’ve been mostly remote for the last 13 years and I’ve realized that I need an onsite work place so I can maintain my home as my place of relaxation and escape.
Not just the cost, but the fact that so many people are working 50+ hours a week just to survive and simply don't have the time or energy. When you've gotta pick up a second job on the weekend to make rent, you're probably not going to have any energy to go out.
I know it's tough when you can't separate work and home. I don't know what your setup is, but I only use the work laptop and not the monitor and dock they sent so I don't have to give permanent space to work stuff. When work is done the laptop closes and gets put in the work backpack next to my desk.
Likewise, I commute to my home work by going on a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood before and after so I get some time separation. Giving myself time after work especially to mentally come home was important.
Best of luck figuring out the right balance!
For me I just maintain a dedicated work area, but thankfully my brain is able to switch from “clocked in” to “clocked out” mode easily enough.
Same. Dedicated space and being very strict a about actually wearing presentable clothes (at least jeans and tshirts) and shoes. I don't let myself wear sweatpants or any other "relaxing" outfit. When I'm done with work, shoes and jeans come off. Confy clothes on. It really helps me delininate work mode or home mode.
Many of us can’t do our jobs off of just a laptop screen or most laptops
I understand. I was a software developer and engineer for twenty years, complete with quad display and everything. I, painfully, switched to laptop only even before COVID so that I could be productive while traveling. But I kept a dock on my office. When I needed more resources than my laptop had, I started using servers in AWS. I understand wanting the benefit of the extra displays, but I decided that my personal boundary was not giving up the space in my home. So when COVID hit I permanently went to single monitor.
I know not everyone can or wants to do that. But if you are struggling with work home separation with remote work, I suggest trying it on case it helps. Your happiness is worth the x% efficiency hit, unless that is the margin that will get you fired.
I just go to friends' homes, or they come to mine. I'm quite happy to entertain rather than go out, it's more convenient and costs much less.
Can I ask what places used to exist that don't anymore where people could congregate for free and socialize?
Yes, this is certainly true and I'm fortunate it's an option.
What places are you talking about? I can't think of anything that would've existed that doesn't now.
It's certainly true that more people are spending time at home with Netflix or video games that might have chosen a book and/or a more social space though.
I ...