Selfhosted
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I completely agree with you. I've only just started using this Fediverse stuff but my immediate impression has been this is cool but most of this needs to be invisible to end users.
In particular I think things need to be set up to treat instances as potentially temporary. Right now you're placing a lot of trust in just some random person if you want to try and build up a community. For any number of reasons they could pull the rug out from under you at any point and if that happens your account is gone and (as far as I can tell at least) your content is frozen at the last snapshot it sent. Accounts need to be global or at least mirrored to other instances you interact with. And instances should be able to keep adding posts and comments to that snapshot and sharing the updates to other instances so it's like it never went down (I don't think this happens now).