this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
46 points (100.0% liked)
askchapo
22717 readers
1 users here now
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
-
Posts must ask a question.
-
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
-
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
-
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
As a former
, I've learned that the first, best step you can take is learning to tell people to shut up
It can be hard, mainly because we're usually browbeaten into believing that we're supposed to settle things with civility
But the thing is, they're the ones who aren't being civil, they're the ones who don't show anyone respect, they're the ones who will resort to cruelty and bullying
So it's important to remember that even if you don't know everything, you know enough to know that nobody knows everything and anyone who pretends to be the arbiter of absolute knowledge is just being a shit
I want to say "shut up" all the time. Thing is, I don't want to choke on the rest of my words and silently freeze afterwards.
One that i like to use when I'm clearly just being "talked at" is "nah, I'm done here. i don't owe you a debate" and then STICKING TO MY GUNS and exiting the situation
I was taught by a friend that when someone behaves too manipulatively, you can just leave the room without a word.
There was a shitty person who treated us two very differently. I observed if you start off a relationship with someone extremely manipulative with the vanishing act, they'll respect you more and try less shit on you. I stuck around when shit got bad, and all that did was give the manipulator room to test how far they could take things out on me.