this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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Are you saying you were raised to be polite and respectful and now can't be rude and disrespectful?
Or the opposite?
If it's the former, give it time. It shifted for me. If it's the latter, maybe try religion or lots of cannabis and psychedelics.
Yeah, the former.
Fuck, I've given it enough time, I'm 38 ๐.
lol, it's not so bad to be incapable of dickishness but sometimes the world calls for it. for me it took opiates, a whole lot lost, a whole lot gained, the realization that the ingrained fear was really only residual bodily memory from an overbearing mother, and TRT. my test levels were mega low from years of opiate addiction. oh, and going out a lot, socializing, getting used to all kinds of people, including the cool ones that look shady, and the shady ones that look cool, for like 2 years straight - that was the hardest part but the most helpful for a former infosec nerd like myself who was eternally online and feared the outside after stimulant fueled and sometimes paranoid coding binges.
oh and the drinking. I drink a lot now, and it makes me an asshole to everyone around when I drink a few too many beers.
I'm not sure it's a path you should try going down, but if the overbearing mother (or father) part are true for you, that's the key to unlocking it in a healthy manner.
For the record I'm 32 and I've managed all that since like 25. Now I'll yell and fight someone in the street if they throw the first punch, or push. 50/50 on whether I'll win.
so anyway circling back to the beginning, it's not so bad being polite. ๐
You're the most interesting geek I've ever had the pleasure of conversing with ๐. I feel like I see myself in the mirror, lol... except I'm very happy and party oriented when drunk ๐... or just wanna dwell on the PC solving some problem, lol.
I've really felt my whole life like I didn't belong amywhere. I'm geekish (IT/programmer), I do electronics (passion from my youth, plus my degree is in electronics and telecommunications, so ๐), but on the other hand, I can do alcohol, drugs, party, am very socially inclined (laid back people usually like me), but not too much as to lose sense of responsibilities and reality, like some of the people I've been around have (mostly junkies or festival hoppers). My point is, I really don't feel like I belong anywhere. Geeks are too geeky for me and we usually don't share the same interests (they are more closed, I'm more open and just scare them away ๐), people that are more street wise or just look at life as one big party are too careless (and sometimes, agressive) for my taste... it's like I can swing from one point to another, but never really settle in.
I just wanna be more like others, I guess... fit in more. Most people nowadays get so passive agressive (or just agreesive ๐) at the slightest drop of a joke or a comment intended to make a bit of fun of them (or me, I always joke at my own expense), that, by now, it feels like I'm born not to be like that. Maybe I am, who knows...
If only there were a community for us. With geeky chicks too. I think that was in various parts of California in the 80s, but besides that, it's really hard to find people like us. I tried my way in New Orleans for a short time but didn't give it the best shot... They actually had hackerspaces there, we don't have them in the shitty Midwestern city I'm in now. I'm in the middle of making a big relationship change and uprooting my life, or deciding fuck it and settling down, but my state of flow and unfuckwithableness that used to be the steady constant in my life has been replaced by working too much and too much stress. So something's gotta give. It'd be awesome to have a place to meet like minded people like us, but we're mostly on the internet and still far and few between.
God damn it, now you done it with the chicks part ๐. Yep, we should chat ๐.
Agreed, not too many people like us. I met one that I converse with regularly through a game (just a friend, male) and he seems like a copy of me ๐... he can be crazy, but down to earth when needed... also, we share the same sense of humor, which I really like ๐. Like, I can be so socially whacked when it comes to my sense of humor, and he's like that too, so we basically finish each other's sentences when some comment might hint to a meme or something socially ackward ๐.
I don't even live in the US, I live in Europe ๐. But yes, I would like to meet more people like me. I've really just felt like I don't belong anywhere my entire life. Sure, I have friends and all that, but most of them just don't get me. They try, but I can see that they don't.
Hit me up with a PM if you'd like ๐.