this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2023

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chapotraphouse

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50

Guys the news said that secret half chinese/half hamas super solders have been released by russia and cuba to steal your butt cells for cloning I'm super scared (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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What if they steal my butt cells and make a clone of me and the clone says America isn't perfect I don't think I could handle that

I locked all my doors but I heard they can flatten themselves and slide under the door crack im shaking right now

they might have a havana syndrome gun and It might give me a headache oh fuck

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[–] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

Neither Havana syndrome nor Hamas can strike so long as you are facing an American flag with your hand on your heart and reciting the pledge of allegiance. Do not wear a hat, do NOT sleep. God speed and good luck soldier