this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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This has definitely been my experience. 8 years after my last relationship and I'm still single. I'm an average looking guy, I put up nice pictures, I filled out the profile, I spent time crafting a good opening message, etc... I had maybe 30-50 conversations, most of which quickly died out, some just wanted to keep talking for weeks before we met, at the end I think I ended up with less than ten actual dates, none of them went to a second date.
My first therapist even suggested an experiment (edit: this was actually my idea,but he supported it): replace my profile pictures with those of a male model and see if I get tons of messages or it stays the same. I ended up getting about 3 or 4 more messages total then usual, none of them went anywhere either.
What was your therapist's theory they were trying to test, that you might be ugly? Seems a very odd thing to ask you to do.
It was my idea but he supported it, pretty much testing to see if my pictures were the issue or not.
Some people say to never use selfie shots, others say it's fine. Some say to have only pictures of you with no one else, others say it's fine. It's difficult to figure out what actually "works".