this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2023
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The Monkey's Paw
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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
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You can, but it includes every animal and you can't turn it off.
You can hear the conversation of every animal constantly, including insects, rotifers, tardigrades, and any other creature in the animal kingdom. If they're living on or in you, then you can't even walk away.
Even worse, the animals don't magically get advanced processing abilities. So you can communicate with them, but they can't understand you any more than they could understand other communications (ex. From their own species). So enjoy the incessant babbling