I wouldn't necessarily count you out. If you're not pulling out so-called evolutionary psychology to explain women to women, that's already a solid asset you have going for you. Add a compatible personality to that and you've got potential to build with

[–] gramathy@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

“Not the bottom of the barrel” isn’t exactly a glowing recommendation

[–] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

Sure, but I don't know you outside of this comment section, so I figure a wide-reaching pep talk would just come across as dismissive

More importantly, I don't think desirability is a very linear scale. It's true that being an evo-psych guy is basically a mandate for self-sabotaging relationships, but that mostly means that otherwise-compatible people will be consistently alienated by the evo-psych stuff. Lacking that kind of factor, one that makes healthy relationships impossible, is genuinely important if you're interested in building relationships

On the other end, having money is going to consistently be a help for any gender seeking any gender, because everything is just easier with money. Most other factors don't have a very predictable effect on an individual level. I'm weird according to multiple girls I did not get along with growing up, but if I wasn't what they called weird then I probably wouldn't have hit it off with the person I wound up marrying. I can't imagine I would have been happy with someone who thought I was weird, anyway

I've also been called boring by family for quietly enjoying a friend's company while we each did our own thing, but if I wasn't what they called boring then I wouldn't get to enjoy that, and I probably wouldn't get along as well with those friends. Idk, maybe I'm rambling. I just think relationships are complex interactions between complex people, and regardless of most traits there's going to be a lot of luck involved in meeting compatible people, and then continuous work involved in building a relationship with them