I woke up this morning and immediately knew something was wrong. The universe is meaningless. All that is solid melts into air. No matter what I do, it will be as irrelevant in 10k years as stone tools are today. I am a monkey that god ignores.

So of course I call the Make a Wish Foundation and see if I can get something to fill my final days between now and my natural death in like 50-60 years. I didn't ask for much, but enough to give me meaning in an existentialist sense as I await death. Maybe 50-60 cruises, trips to foreign countries, years spent having special days out with John Cena, totally up to them. If Spiderman wanted to surprise me with a cake every day for 50 years, I'd even accept that if they just include a little party or something.

They ended up gaslighting me about what a terminal illness is and then ghosting me. Apparently I'm too much of a "grown-ass man" to even apply. ATTA?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

years spent having special days out with John Cena

I don't think I could see him agreeing to this

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Not like every day. He could have a break every now and then to be with his family or whatever. I just think it would show he really cares if he spent most of the next 50 years showing me I'm the special boy who deserves my own special day.

[–] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

Maybe you've already had them, you just couldn't see him. Maybe John Cena is with you right now