this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2023
11 points (100.0% liked)
Melbourne
2197 readers
31 users here now
This community is a place created for the people of Melbourne and Victoria. We are a positive, welcoming and inclusive community. We might not agree about everything, but we always strive to stay civil and respectful.
The focus of our discussions is based around things that affect Victoria, but we are also free to discuss our local perspective on wider issues. Or head to the regular Daily Random Discussion thread to talk about anything.
Ongoing discussions, FAQs & Resources (still under construction)
Adoption Certificate for Nellie, the Daily Thread numbat (with thanks to @Catfish)
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I went out for most of the day with a long time friend, talked about lots of stuff, good food, good sun, good walk... but not long after that ended - still feeling really on the edge of something in the background.
emo rambling
Fragile and unmoored and yearning for seeming opposites: security and change, belonging and independence, careful analysis and spontaneity, work and rest... really odd place to be in. Writing down a to do list to gather my thoughts into action sends me into a spiral...I've put some calming ambient music on headphones and am going back into some paper books for a while. "See if it gets better tomorrow morning" is not something I can rely on forever though.
I once had an ex tell me my mind was like a machine with sharp teeth and soft lips, it was powerful but also dangerous; it always needed to be chewing on something substantial or it would very soon start chewing itself, very painfully. This was 8 years ago, you'd think I would've found lasting ways to deal with it by now.
But every so often I'd feel like my brain reset itself and I have to relearn some things from scratch and make sure the right programs boot up in sequence. I guess this is one of those times again. Sigh. This is so tedious and my current psych isn't able or willing to go there. In fact I think she's kind of gently suggested I see someone else for a different modality. Gotta start the ride again.
This so… poignant. I think I’ll be mulling this for some time…
For myself, my brain has been the most challenged it has been this year and it’s only in the last month or so that I’ve regained some calm that it almost seems both alien and too good to be true… but today I’m on the emo train.
I reach for the calming ambient music and headphones also, but it too has its limitations. Grateful nonetheless as it has gotten me through some tough times. Sending positive energy.