I was in the shower this morning when the thought occurred- is there some reason this shampoo bottle says "If ingested, get help or contact a Poison Control Centre right away" that we're not being told? It's not on the bottle. So I drank the bottle to test my hypothesis that it's Big Pharma lying to us.

Anyway so 5 minutes later I'm vomiting blood all over the room when the thought occurred- they do this so you'll have to visit a hospital and spend even MORE money. It's literally a conspiracy by a cabal between Big Pharma and the hospitals, and I guarantee Big Poison Control benefits from the increased call volume (m^3^). This is the new frontier of citizen science and I'm calling on all freethinkers to venture down the rabbit hole with me.

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[–] CrispyFern@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I drink my 3in1 (shampoo, conditioner, protein shake) all the time. I think you just have a skill issue. smuglord

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

That might be my Nobel prize if I survive the night but it seems that my liver has temporarily shut down for some reason. Vaccine shedding from the flight paramedic is my chief suspicion. Hypothesis: drinking different kinds of shampoo will range in effects and at least one of them is be a natural cure for disease. Sort of like balancing your humours.

edit: Well look at that. Big Hospice is already sending their fucking shills to spread FUD. You know you're on the right track when you've scared the cabal.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

>not having Axe 5in1 (body wash+shaving butter+shampoo+conditioner+bacon flavored protein shake)